Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Thoughts on a Year From Now

A year from now I will be done with college. (Lord willing.)

That thought kind of scares me. Scratch that - it terrifies me. Because with that thought comes the realization that I have no idea what to do after college.

I realize that I'm not alone in this thought; the majority of college students don't know what to do after college. I went to my school's graduation this year - and the majority of those people walked across the stage not quite knowing what they were going to do with that degree. And I realize that I will probably just add to that statistic. Most likely, I will walk across that stage not knowing. I guess that kind of comes with being an English major, too. I'd like to know. I have an idea of what I want to do, or what I could do, but the logistics escape me.

I know I can live on my own, whether that be here in Los Angeles, Atlanta, Dalton, or a random city somewhere. I can pay bills, do my own laundry, go grocery shopping, feed myself - though I'm on a tight budget right now, so that mainly consists of tuna and ramen, which gets boring (the ramen, not the tuna; I could never tire of tuna) - I can even get up and go to work at 8am every day. I always considered these things "adult" things, so I guess what I'm saying is that I finally feel like an adult. But even as I've made that transition, I've always had school - something I know how to do and I know that I'm good at. And soon I won't have that anymore. It's weird. What am I supposed to do if I have no homework?

Also, six months ago today was the last time I saw my dog. In two days, it'll have been six months since I've seen any of my family. That's the longest I've ever been from home. It's weird. And I'm not going home until next Thursday. I decided to stay here in LA these last few weeks because I have a job here and could earn money for Europe. I don't regret that decision at all. But I have to wonder - a year from now, will I even be going home at all? Will I be going home indefinitely? Will Abby be able to live with me wherever I am?

This is my last summer to still be a student and to be able to push off those questions a little while longer. I'm so grateful that I will be able to spend part of it in Europe. I'm ready for an adventure, especially since this will be my last summer adventure before I have to be a responsible, full-time employed, adult. I think God knew that I needed that this summer rather than last summer, and that's why He had the trip work out this year and not last year. He knows what I need before I do. Which also means that He has next summer taken care of already. Wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. I guess it's just easier to trust Him when I have my puppy cuddling next to me without a care in the world.

18 days until I leave for London.


"There ain't no place I'd rather be than right here making history...so let's take all the pictures we can take, for the generation away."
- Generation Away, Lady Antebellum